When Your Vacation Feels Like Another Job
You know that moment. You’ve finally arrived at your vacation destination—the one you’ve been daydreaming about during endless Zoom meetings and late-night email sessions. Your out-of-office message proudly announces your absence. Your carefully packed suitcase (that you probably packed and repacked at midnight) sits in the corner of your hotel room. You should feel relieved, right?
Yet there you are, lying awake at 3 AM, mentally reviewing next quarter’s targets or wondering if your colleague remembered to follow up with that important client. Your chest still feels tight. Your jaw is still clenched. And the thought of “relaxing properly” has somehow become yet another task you’re failing at.
Welcome to the burnt-out vacationer’s club. We have members worldwide, and unfortunately, we’re growing every day.
When “Rest” Becomes Another Performance Metric
Remember when you were a kid and vacations just… happened? You didn’t optimize your relaxation or create a color-coded itinerary to ensure maximum memory creation. You just existed, and somehow, magically, you came back refreshed.
Now? Well, now you’re probably the person who has thought, “I really should be enjoying this sunset more efficiently” or “I’ve only read two books on this beach day—am I wasting precious downtime?” Perhaps you’ve found yourself reflexively reaching for your phone during that massage you scheduled to “help you relax.” (The irony isn’t lost on you, but knowing it’s ironic doesn’t stop you from doing it.)
If your vacation photos look amazing but your internal experience feels like you’ve simply relocated your stress to a prettier backdrop, your nervous system is telling you something important: recovery from burnout isn’t a weekend project with a neat before-and-after reveal. It’s more like tending a garden after a drought—patient, consistent care yields gradual renewal.
What Your Frazzled Brain is Actually Experiencing
I’ve seen it countless times—high-achievers finally taking that long-overdue vacation, only to find themselves in tears by day three, wondering, “What’s wrong with me? I’ve been planning this trip for months, and all I’ve done is sleep, feel anxious, and snap at my family for ‘relaxing wrong.’”
There’s nothing wrong with you. Your brain is simply doing what neuroscience tells us happens when our stress response system has been running in overdrive: it’s struggling to shift gears. Research shows that burnout actually changes how our brains function, making that work-to-rest transition feel less like flipping a switch and more like trying to turn around a cruise ship in a bathtub—awkward, slow, and occasionally bumping into things.
Studies in the Journal of Applied Psychology have found that for the truly burnt-out among us, vacation benefits might last only 2-4 days after returning to work. This isn’t because vacations don’t “work”—it’s because we need more than just time away. We need a different approach to that time.
The “Bookend Method”: For Those of Us Who Can’t Instantly Become Zen Masters
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’ll finally relax on day 4 of my 5-day vacation,” the Bookend Method might feel like someone finally understands your plight.
Rather than expecting your stress-marinated brain to instantly transform from “productivity machine” to “blissed-out vacationer,” this approach acknowledges that transitions are hard for humans—especially humans whose nervous systems have been doing stress sprints for months or years.
Here’s how it actually works in real life:
Front-End Buffer Day: This is a day at home after your last workday but before your vacation officially begins. No, it’s not for squeezing in “just one more project.” Think of it as decompression time.
For many of us, this looks like wearing our comfiest clothes, moving all work apps to a folder called “Not Today,” and doing what I call “productive puttering”—those satisfying pre-vacation tasks like watering plants and setting up an automatic pet feeder, interspersed with staring into space and remembering how to breathe normally.
Re-Entry Buffer Day: This is the day between returning home and resuming work. It’s sacred space—not for tackling the 437 emails awaiting you, but for gentle re-orientation.
Many burnt-out professionals have discovered the power of re-entry rituals: unpacking immediately (non-negotiable), making a ridiculously simple meal, looking through vacation photos, and going to bed early. The next morning, reviewing the calendar for the upcoming work week, but not opening email until officially back. These boundaries help us feel like we’re choosing to return rather than being yanked back.
The “My Kids Are Watching” Reality Check
Let’s be honest about another layer of vacation stress: if you’re a parent, you’re not just managing your own burnout recovery—you’re modeling what “taking breaks” looks like for the next generation.
It’s not uncommon to see children packing notebooks for beach vacations and creating “relaxation schedules” with designated times for activities. When asked why, they’ll often say something like, “I’m being efficient with my fun, like you are with your work!” Talk about a wake-up call.
When burnt-out parents approach vacation with the same productivity mindset they bring to their careers, our children learn that rest must be earned, optimized, and somehow still productive. They’re watching us check emails at dinner and listening when we say things like, “I can’t really relax until I just check on this one work thing.”
What if, instead, we modeled the messy, imperfect, but honest reality of recovery? “Mommy’s brain is still catching up with her body being on vacation, so we’re going to have a quiet morning to reset.” This teaches children something far more valuable than seeing us power through: it shows them that honoring our nervous system’s needs is a strength, not a weakness.
Small, Imperfect Steps Toward Actual Recovery
Recovery from burnout isn’t about having the Instagram-perfect vacation or following some guru’s “10 Steps to Bliss” program. It’s about creating enough space and self-compassion for your system to gradually remember that life can feel different.
Some gentle suggestions from one recovering burnout sufferer to another:
Give yourself permission to do absolutely nothing for periods of time—and know that the discomfort this creates is part of the healing
Identify one vacation tradition that genuinely replenishes you, even if it seems small or silly (buying local postcards that never actually get sent, collecting interesting rocks or shells, or simply watching the same comfort movie in every new place you visit)
Be honest about your current capacity rather than pushing through with a smile
Recognize that the irritability that often surfaces on vacation isn’t a sign the vacation is “failing”—it’s often your system finally feeling safe enough to express the strain it’s been under
Remember, your burnout didn’t happen overnight, and neither will your recovery. The journey is more spiral than straight line, with progress, backsliding, and moments of both clarity and confusion. The most important thing isn’t how quickly you recover, but that you’re beginning to create space for a different relationship with rest.
What vacation tradition or activity genuinely replenishes you, no matter how small? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below—your insight might be exactly what another reader needs to hear today.
If you’re recognizing that burnout has hijacked not just your work life but your ability to truly rest, you’re already taking the first crucial step: awareness. For additional support, our Burnout to Balance workshop offers gentle, evidence-based strategies specifically designed for those of us who find it challenging to downshift. Because you deserve the same care and patience you so readily offer to others.